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Newswire December 19th, 2017

The Education Grinch Who Stole Christmas — Or So They Try

A special holiday Newswire!

The parents and teachers they wanted reform.
They looked for solutions to break from the norm.
They wanted things better, that’s why they were fighting,
to make sure their kids would learn reading and writing
and science and math and history too
for everyone’s children, not just a few.

But the Blob and its Grinches, they hated reform.
“Imagine,” they sniffed, “trying to break from the norm.”
“Standards, and charters, and school choice and such.
This edreform nonsense is much, much too much.”

“Who are they, these people, this reform-minded crew,
who think they know better than us what to do?
We’ll fix them, we’ll teach them, we’ll show them who’s boss.
We’ll make doubly sure that they suffer a loss.
We’ll stop all their harping and carping and cries
we’ll tell all the people their numbers are lies.
We’ll say that they’re wrong and, without hesitation,
we’ll say that they’re out to destroy education.

“We’ll say that their efforts are all out of place,
that options and choosing are just about race,
that charters in cities all over the nation,
are simply a ruse to promote segregation.

“Oh, we’ll offer solutions, the people will buy them,
We’ll say ‘give us money, and more time to try them.’
‘Yes, we’ve spent decades, and trillions in cash,
But with a few trillion more, you’ll see changes at last.’

And for those who ask questions or say it’s a waste,
with great condescension, they’ll be put in their place.
We’ll stop the reformers, we’ll stop them, we will.
Because, after all, we’re the kings of the Hill.

So the Blob and its Grinches embarked on their task
to make sure that all things reform finished last.

But the parents and teachers and grandparents too,
went on with their work, they knew what to do.
The Blob might have money and power and might
but that didn’t mean that they knew what was right.

And no matter the odds, or how long it might take,
the reformers were steadfast: a difference they’d make.
They wouldn’t be quiet and they wouldn’t give in
and whenever they lost, they would just start again.

They offered suggestions and wrote legislation
and some ran for office (to the Blob’s consternation).

“We’ll stop these reformers” the Blob-Grinches blustered
“and what we can’t stop we will just filibuster.
We’ll do all we can, oh we’ve got a few tricks,
after all it’s our business to play politics.”

“Against the reformers we’ll spend, spend galore,
and for those who are with us, we’ll spend even more.”

We’ll finance elections, and fund our proponents
We’ll launch a campaign that will smear our opponents.

But the parents and teachers and grandparents too,
just smiled at the Blob, because everyone knew
that for all its millions and for all its might,
the Blob could not manage to carry the fight.

And for all their ranting and raving and storm
they’ve really done nothing to stop edreform.